UP | uncultured project

“I’m writing now from a rural village in Bangladesh (called Madhupur). There is no electricity, no running water, and the diesel generator that was powering a ceiling fan and light bulb died earlier this night.”

That’s what I wrote exactly five months and a week ago. Now here I am, back in the same rural village, in the same house, at the same desk, and in more or less the same situation. I’m kinda feeling a bit nostalgic right about now..

Five months and a week ago, I wasn’t sure anyone outside of my family was reading my blogs. I didn’t have a single YouTube video up and I had very little to show on my Flickr page. It was only after I wrote that article here in Madhupur that I learned I actually had an audience. Mikey Leung was one of my first readers. I later found out he was actually another crazy Canadian who was trying to help the poor here in Bangladesh. I had an audience – and I wasn’t alone in what I was doing. That article also got picked up by Rezwan of The Third World View. I had never heard of that blog before, but now I read it religiously.

I was also extremely disheartened back then. I had already been in the country for three months, and had very little to show for it. I had so much to give away but nothing major had been done so far. Instead, my project got detoured as my mother (who came here to help me with translation) got hospitalized for Dengue Fever. I was about ready to pack up and quit. That previous trip to Madhupur was a turning point for me. In that trip, I was able to give away over fifty mosquito nets. The footage I gathered here helped me make my first episode on YouTube. I was also able to help hands on with one family in particular. Those who’ve been reading this blog for a while will know about the single mother of two who I gave a net, a windup flashlight, and some money for school for her eldest son. That son just graduated Grade One and is now in Grade Two.

I had to re-read that last sentence. Wow. This was a mother who, according to the locals, was seriously considering dumping her two children in an orphanage and abandoning them. She couldn’t afford to keep a roof over their heads. Heck, she couldn’t even afford clothes for these kids. Now, thanks to my family and I, one of her kids just finished one school level, the kids have clothes on their backs, food in their belly, and a loving mother who isn’t forced to abandon them. You want to know what is the most surprising? This only cost me a few bucks. The windup flashlight cost me $5, the mosquito net was courtesy of Vestergaard-Frandsen, and the school and other costs added up to about $10 USD. Yes. Ten bucks. You know those ads where they say “just for the price of a cup of coffee”? They aren’t kidding apparently. Why aren’t more people doing this?

Here’s a photo of them when I first met them. I’ll try and visit their house and have a follow-up photo later on….

[Update: Since writing this post, the contest has closed. I ranked second with over 900 votes. Feel free to check out my videos on YouTube. Thanks for those who voted. First place went to LuddenMedia. They're great guys - check em out.]

The contest closes in a few hours, and I’m currently in second place. You can still vote at this link – the poll is on the left side. For some unknown reason, no matter how many friends I get to vote (or how many friends of friends vote), I’m always trailing from the first place by almost exactly 90 votes. It’s almost like magic!

Who is in first place? It’s a YouTube series about a bunch of college kids – some of whom have come from hell (and are demons) and others have come from heaven (and are angels). They are plotting to either save or damn the regular mortals in the dorm. Ummm…. No comment.

I have this friend who went to MIT. Taking a very sterile and logical approach, he said to me quite bluntly “I don’t see how getting ‘Phil’d’ in helps the poor”. It doesn’t? In fact, this whole filming thing doesn’t technically help the poor now does it? If I put the camera down and focused 100% on helping the poor (as people like Mikey Leung do or charities like Save the Children which came to the disaster area without any cameras or camcorders), I’d get more done. It takes time to film, transfer, charge batteries, buy new tape, edit, and upload video you know.

But, then no one would know about many of the things I’ve seen (be it my work or the amazing work done by others). And that would mean that people would have to continue to rely on information mediums which – for people in my generation – may not give much importance to. How many people in my generation watch CNN regularly? Now compare that to how many of us are religiously reading our newsfeeds on Facebook. This doesn’t mean my generation has the wrong priorities. It just means that we absorb information through different ways.

Which is why I’d like to win this contest. Sxephil is just a regular YouTube member like me – but with a large audience (with over 49,000 subscribers). If, through his YouTube channel, people can be exposed to important issues, views, and topics they might not have been exposed to in their normal routine than maybe – just maybe – they might be interested in learning more or maybe even be inspired to do something about it. But people have to know that such work exists in order to have that choice.

So, with all due respect to my MIT (instead of Irish) educated friend – getting “Phil’D in” does help the poor.

I would like to say that everything is okay – but it really isn’t. Lately – for about the past few weeks – I’ve had this nervous feeling at the pit of my stomach. Am I doing the right thing? Is this project – at least the part of it that is online – making a difference?

I guess this feeling first started to creep in after I was able to meet Mikey Leung. Mikey is another fellow Canadian blogger trying to make a difference in Bangladesh. But, instead of coming here by himself, he joined with the Volunteer Service Organization. I actually had a chance to meet up with Mikey in person a few weeks ago and meet some of his fellow friends from the VSO.

How would be the best way to describe my feeling when I met these people? Have you ever run around – when you were really young – with a blanket tied to your neck pretending to be Superman? Now, imagine yourself meeting the real Superman. That’s kind of how I felt. There was no doubt in my mind who the real heroes were. In comparison to them, I felt like a fraud.

While I am walking around with one of my various Notre Dame t-shirts, these guys are wearing t-shirts they designed themselves promoting the UN’s Millennium Development Goals. That’s how hardcore they are. They also have none of the advantages I do. They don’t have family here or relatives here to lend support. They don’t have knowledge of the language before arriving. And, if they get sick (as many of them have), they just keep toughing it out and don’t stop working.

To put things into perspective, these are highly educated people who could have had successful high paying jobs anywhere in the world they wished. I met one of Mikey’s friends who happens to be educated from one of Britain’s best schools (and has a Masters degree), but is working here (like all other volunteers) for 9,000 taka a month. Let me put that into perspective: that’s about $130 dollars US a month. All of them work full time so that averages to about 50 cents an hour.

I wasn’t the only one at Notre Dame inspired by Dr. Jeffrey Sachs. On the Notre Dame facebook, I’ve found tons of people that have since gone off to Africa and other parts of the world to build schools, provide clean water, and make a difference. In fact, Notre Dame recently made a TV commercial featuring Tyler Stavinoha’s work with people in Haiti. You can watch that amazingly inspiring video on youtube at this link.

This isn’t the first time I’ve doubted myself or this project. I also know that this project is a lot about making a difference in just a few lives – and I have been able to do that thankfully. But, I can’t help but wonder how much more I could have done if I wasn’t trying to blog or make youtube videos while I’m here. There are tons of volunteers like Mikey – but very few of them blog. There is a very simple reason for that – when you are working to make a genuine difference, it’s actually very difficult to do much else (like blog or video blog).

As true as that is, that’s one of the reasons I want to be blogging and making youtube videos while I am on this project. Although there are already so many people trying to make the world a better place, there are even more that would love to be able to do so but can’t. Blogging and video blogging can be a way to share this experience. There are also those out there who might be the kind of person who would want to make a difference – but have not yet been inspired or informed on how to do so. If I can inspire others like Dr. Sachs inspired me – all the better.

In many ways, I guess meeting up with some real heroes has made me question my own project because their work is so unambiguous. You can’t question the humility, dedication, and purpose of someone who works for next to nothing (in a country he or she doesn’t know) all while doing it all in relative obscurity. They can also take pride in their work in a way I can’t. My project is a bit more ambiguous. I am trying to make a difference on the ground while trying to make a difference to others online. But, when it comes to the internet, it’s hard to tell whether you are making an impact or just talking to yourself in the dark.

I am probably the last person in the world who should be trying to do a project in Bangladesh.

I realized this from talking to Mikey Leung – a fellow Canadian in Bangladesh. Like me, Mikey is here to try and make a difference in Bangladesh. He works for a charity, raises money for flood victims, and is working as an IT professional in Bangladesh. But, unlike me, he has no extended family in Bangladesh. For me, having family has made this project feasible – I don’t have to worry about spending money for a place to stay, I get great home cooked meals, and I can even bum a ride most of the time. But, more often than not – it means I’m restricted in where I can go and what I can do.

As a kid, I used to resent this overprotectiveness. As an adult, I now realize that this overprotectiveness comes from a family traumatized by their experience in Bangladesh…. Continue reading ‘A Family Traumatized By Bangladesh’